afternoon 10/5/09

another lunch, another togo's sandwich. if variety is the spice of life, i'm slightly spicier than bubblicious.

this is the second togo's sandwich i've had in the past few days and the second sandwich i ate today. either way you cut it, i obviously suffer from a dearth of culinary creativity.

the problem is that i'm really picky and will return to the same tried and true favorites over and over because there's a list of criteria that my eating experience must meet and a list of other things that i can't stand.

for example, i don't like most restaurants with waiters because the dining experience always takes too long. the waiters take drink orders, then leave, then bring drinks, then leave again, then i have to wait again to place my order. this is a stupid and inefficient system because if i'm in a restaurant, i'm already fucking hungry. drinks generally take about nine seconds to prepare and i could handle ordering those last, so let's conserve time and get the food cooking before i tell you that i want a diet coke. in response to this awful system, i crafted my own ordering process: i flare my nostrils, sit up straight and demand to order everything at once because, let's be honest, if i wanted to talk to my server forty seven times, i'd get his phone number.

i also don't like buffet restaurants. there's a lot to dislike about them: grazing at a counter makes me feel like i'm getting a UN handout, the omnipresent odor of bleach makes me think i'm at a community pool and all of the food tastes like chicken stock.

so for someone who doesn't like excessive interaction with servers, doesn't like shoveling food from buckets and doesn't like a 12 step ordering process, restaurants where one orders at a counter and gets the food on a tray in under two minutes is a pretty good deal.

i'm probably missing out on some stellar food by eating this way, but the truth is that my pissy mood would probably negate the spectacular taste of a three-hour meal, anyway. i'm sure restaurant magazine's top 50 restaurants all have wonderful menu items and phenomenal service, but unless they'll let me bark my entire order in one sentence and have my food on the table in under five minutes, they're probably too slow for my taste.