breakfast never happened today, but i cooked, which is way more miraculous.
i bullshitted the entire meal, since recipes are hard for me to follow. actually, instructions in general are hard for me to follow. this is why i don't hook up my own TV, why i can't fix my own car problems and why the self-checkout in the grocery store is about as DIY as i get. i have the motor skills and dexterity of a snowman, which means that boiling water is pretty much as complicated as i get.
that's why this meal was a big deal. not only did i manage to boil water, i cooked polenta in it, made a sauce and a salad. granted, in this picture, the mushroom sauce looks gangrenous and the tomatoes look jaundiced, but this was a pretty sophisticated endeavor for someone whose culinary prowess had previously been limited to opening a handi-snack.
the mushroom sauce was my favorite part. i caramelized onions in butter, sauteed mushrooms in butter, used french marsh salt and brought it all together with heavy cream because i love heart disease.
i made sure that the portions were small, not so much for calorie restriction, but because dairy intolerance is common in my circle and we eat in a room with no ventilation.
dessert was a few licorice pieces and three mini peanut butter cups. celery for dinner, anyone?
4 comments:
I hope you didn't crowd your mushrooms.
and by the way, this is all hilarious.
don't be so modest! you made some of the best garlic bread i've ever had!
it was yummy..I know first hand ;)
I have the motor skills and dexterity of a snowman!!!!! LOFREAKINGL
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